(A picture from one of my favourite albums of the year, KOD by J Cole, which covers addiction)
While I was trying to understand my anxiety disorder and getting to know myself better, I knew that there were addictions that I had to deal with. I was smoking weed, drinking coffee, having a couple of drinks now and then and scrolling through social media when I would feel anxious. So when I was meditating and going deeper into myself, I could feel the pull of the hungry ghosts that is addiction. Its about recognizing the things in your life that don’t fit in line with your higher self.
Whatever the addiction is, whether it is pornography, drugs, alcohol or even social media, it call pull us far from the present moment and even change us completely. I remember when I wanted to recover from anxiety I completely deleted my Instagram account and never logged into Facebook. Now I am using my social media as a tool to connect others to a helpful informative tool that is my blog to help them better their lives instead of posting useless garbage. I am going to dive deeper into addiction and pass on the information I learned to you so that you can start healing yourself.
I should be able to control it, is what we say when we just can’t help ourselves. It’s like we constantly make up reasons to do that certain thing that we just can’t shake off. The hungry ghosts are riddled with desire but they can never truly satisfy us. When we grab that tub of ice cream, it will only satisfy us for a brief time, and then the guilt will sink deep within us afterward. The feeling of something is missing is a huge part of addiction. We end up getting confused and even more anxious when we cave into those temptations and its mainly because we are filling up the void with unhealthy habits. Meditation can de-condition the grasping of the hungry ghosts but DOESN’T get rid of desire. In that case, how can we get rid of that desire? Believe me, even to this day that desire comes on strong for me but I have better control over it than ever before. I can literally stand back and go, whoa this isn’t who I am.
It is the fixating that causes the suffering. The “if only” mind is running loops in your head that eventually makes you cave into that habit you are trying to shake off. We tend to pair stress with a cigarette break for example. People will tell themselves, or others, that they are stressed and need a cigarette. Over time they pair the two and they become addicted. They must rewire the brain to pair different actions with the stress they are feeling rather than pairing it to that cigarette. Go to the gym, meditate, do a deep breathing exercise, or go buy a salad and fruit when you feel stressed. Believe me, after I eat a salad, I feel pretty damn good. My body thanks me for it.
The Anatomy Of A Habit:
The Que – “Gotta have something sweet to eat right now.” The craving.
Routine – Go to the fridge and get ice cream. The Action.
Reward – Feelings of pleasure. This feeds the que again.
(This loops)
“When will I ever get enough?”
When we succeed in fighting off the addiction, we will feel empowered, liberated, and in control. We cannot heal are addiction if you HATE the hungry ghost. We have to witness it and feel the shame and this will relax it. What are you secretly craving in your life that you have to replace it with that bad habit? When I meditate I could feel the pull of this and that. Maybe you need to heal yourself of a bad relationship from the past.? Maybe you need to heal yourself of an abusive parent from the past? It takes time, and you won’t get over it quickly. The joy in life comes from growth. Visualize yourself a year from now and the feeling of overcoming that hungry ghost. Stop being too critical of yourself. You are only human.