“We have been taught that freedom is the freedom to pursue our petty, trivial desires. Real freedom is freedom from our petty, trivial desires.” – Russell Brand
On this episode, I answer questions sent in by you! The ones I answer today are about adopting healthy routines, breaking a habit you know to be wrong, and healing from a traumatic moment. You can send me questions for future Q&A’s via my website. Below are the key points talked about in this podcast episode.
Milica: How do you create healthy routines for healing and actually follow them?
- It is best that you don’t create but FOLLOW others who reached the goals you want. Become the student of them.
- If your current patterns are not producing the results you want, then you need to adjust your strategies. At first, copy the habits of someone else’s routine before you turn it into your own.
- Set a consistent sleep and wake time. We are routine creatures and your circadian rhythm will thank you for it. The circadian rhythm helps regulate anxiety. Then, write in a journal first thing in the morning (I talk about how you can structure this journal in the podcast below). After, meditate for 10 minutes so that you ground yourself and set your intentions for the day.
Hayden: You have helped me with my health anxiety so much and thank you, but I feel like my anxiety is so much worse when I do not have my vape (nicotine). Is there any way that I could less my anxiety from it and completely stop?
- The cycle of addiction: 1) Pain 2) Using the addictive substance 3) Temporary anaesthesia or distraction 4) Consequences 5) Shame guilt leading to pain and low self worth
- Why do you want to stop? Attach pain to not changing and pleasure to change. What would that you look like a year from now who is no longer vaping? Surround yourself with others (even if its watching videos) of those who overcame addictions.
- You are not going to stop without the discomfort of the withdrawal (anxiety). You are using nicotine to bump up your reward pathways artificially. You have to suffer through the pain in order for the brain to balance itself out.
Jade: I can’t help but replay a traumatizing memory of a family member in the hospital. It brings me such sadness and heartbreak. They have passed since.
- Images create emotions. When you re-imagine the experience, you are emotionally transported back to the original moment of distress.
- The unconscious is presenting unresolved feelings. I’m sure you didn’t know how to handle all those emotions when the event happened so the event imprinted itself on you.
- Play the memory out and let the emotions come up. Then imagine the event in a different light. What do you imagine instead that would make the memory more empowering? What would you do or say to this person? Give them a hug? Kiss them? Or would you tell them how you feel? This will attach safety to the experience rather than dread. Play this out in your mind. The more you look at it from different angles, the less and less it will have a negative hold on you.