“Only boldness can deliver from fear. And if the risk is not taken, the meaning of life is somehow violated, and the whole future is condemned to hopeless staleness.” – Carl Jung
Someone suffering from health anxiety have two underlying fears: mortality and social judgement. Both of these fears can hinder the person from day to day activities resulting in an internal and physical retreat from routine. This is commonly referred to as Agoraphobia. The fear of fear itself.
These particular fears typically come about for those who live a very sheltered and comfortable life. When the realities of existence pop into their perceptual view (strange symptoms, death of a loved one, betrayal, illness) they are completely overwhelmed and have no idea how to manage it. They cannot believe it is happening to them and so they fall into a complete state of chaos. Their goal directed behaviour is disrupted by many obstacles which then place the person in a state of threat preparation. The floorboards to their manor break apart and down they go into the underworld.
These 2 anxiety fears actually grow in size the more you retreat from the terrible snakes that emerge. Many retreat because of the heart palpitations, dizziness, body pains, hyperventilation and perspiration. That is the fear of fear itself. They think, “oh my god I’m going to die and while I die I’ll make a complete fool out of myself.” So they get out of the area as fast as they can to some place of comfort. But here’s the rub, that fear circuit strengthens and now makes associations with the environment as being bad and the symptoms as being bad. So what does this mean? Now you are sensitive to any strange bodily sensation and certain environments that make you feel trapped and separated from emergency personnel. This person, like my old self, will do whatever they can to stay in environments that make them feel safe and secure. Many use family as reassurance, drugs, alcohol, Netflix to numb sooth and distract. Those all feel good now, but the dragon is still there waiting to drag you back into chaos at any moment. In fact, these external means are short lived and cannot stand against those harsh realities of existence no matter how hard you try.
Siddhartha in the Buddha story understood that the only way to buttress yourself from the shocking truth of existence is to forthrightly seek suffering in order to transcend it. He himself lived a very sheltered life until finally stumbling upon disease, decay, and death outside the safety and comfort of the palace. This shocked him into PTSD and thus drove his curiosity toward transcendence. How does one contend with this suffering? This is the hallmark of all psychotherapy. Voluntary exposure to what you fear is curative. The first step? Acknowledge the fear and then work towards self mastery.
To those contending with these two common fears, look towards these extreme anxiety producing scenarios as opportunities rather than situations that need to be avoided. Venture into the fear and you will transcend it. During the hight of the distress, stay and ride the wave of panic. Those thoughts of, “oh god, Im having a medical emergency, what if I embarrass myself, what if I pass out” drive the person out of the environment. Replacing those thoughts with, “this is an opportunity, if it kills me let it kill me, I’m tired of running, it’s time to face the challenge,” help the person to remain in the situation with an understanding that what you confront only makes you stronger. This will begin to establish new circuits within the brain that create new associations to the environment and the symptoms. “Hey, I can be in this situation with all of these distressing feelings and not die.” There is much to you that you have yet realized. Dormant potential coming to light. The identity of the fragile unhealthy person slightly bends and cracks. Do this enough and the sensitivity you have over these environments and sensations decrease and the bravery within you increases. Then the identity of someone who confronts challenges rather than avoids them becomes renown. Acting out the brave individual is far more sophisticated than mere thinking our way to a better life. The more we act out the person we want to be, the more our beliefs align to that act.
In conclusion, the fear of losing control makes a lot of sense when it comes to human physiology. If we experience unknown bodily sensations, the mind fixates itself on the potential lurking within the sensation. It wants to understand it. But we cannot master what we do not understand. So we react to the unknown as something predatory. So to master the unusual, like losing control in a public place, we must confront what we don’t understand. Learn about anxiety. Why do you feel the way you feel? Has anybody else suffered for this and overcame it? Yes? Treat them as a teacher. Then, go out into the unknown and reframe the fear. Prove to yourself that you can not die when encountering the fear. You become braver as a consequence and that bravery spreads out to all other situations that provoked you in the past. Lastly, the more you build trust in yourself that you can handle the chaotic elements of life, the more you realize this is a battle against you and your own mind. Why does it matter so much what other people think? Well, perhaps at a deep biological level its the fear of isolation from the tribe (which meant death). But what if you become independent enough to not rely entirely on others for survival? That you can survive on your own and have all the resources within you to do so. Then, when you’ve proven to yourself that you can do so, other peoples company will come as a gift rather than a dependancy.